So here comes the holidays again. Im afraid boredom would kill me. So im thinking of trying something that i always wanted, baking. haha. I love cupcakes nowadays. I know its fattening and all, but you only live ones. Your can never have lived to your fullest if you havent eaten those delicious yummy cuppy cakes. huhu.

Diet

I dunno. I just felt like writing.
Today was pretty uneventful. Woke up at 3, ate at 9 continuously.
I have got cravings of a monster. All those chips, and sweets... I cant eating them.
What is happening to me ?
I need to go on a diet!! Gosh, what is nutritious and has less calories ?

Its so hard to find fresh fruits here as im staying in hostel and there ain't no refrigerators. I would love some banana and orange though.

What should i eat as an alternate of chips and sugary snacks ?

Uneventful Friday.

The days go on... I eat, sleep, shit, wake up and the cycle repeats. Its mundane. Im done.

Today i snap out of bed to head out to lab. And the replaced lab only had 5 people. Everybody had paired up leaving me all alone to do the goddamn experiment.

I turn the knobs left and right. I got the deflection. Guess what the lecturer said ? It aint stable. In my effort to stable the deflection i spoiled the instrument. (Hahahahaha.) Its so hot, thank god it didn't explode. My lecturer turned it off and asked me to join other groups. I joined my friends behind. He's not only a genius but hes friendly, nice and not to mention patient with my dumb questions. haha.

Its a funny day. I made up with my boyfriend. I had to admit i overreacted over such a small stupid matter. We love each other. Past is past, lets focus on future and not repeat the same old mistakes. Later i had some donaughts and coffee and head down to library to study.

Finaly i took a break from studying to sate my hunger. Off to JS Maju for supper. Ate nan and tandoori. Its been soo long since i ate that thing till i forgot wat it was called and my boyfriend had tell me the wat food's name. How lame of me. lolz. Came back and continued studying till 4.

I gotto wake up at 8 for study group. Only have less than 4 hours to sleep and here im still in front of my computer. Geez, I better shut my eyes.

Nitez yall.

Two face life

My Life - A saddening battle between ignorant happiness and painful lies. Its my choice whether to ignore the lies and be happy forever, or to find out the truth and reveal them. But the consequence of the truth remains unknown. How significant it is, depends only on time.

 I feel like im living in a lie.

Should I follow my instincts ? Or ignore the voice in my heart. The fear of losing smt that is close to my heart stops me from voicing out the thoughts. Being someone else on the outside and thinking something completely different in the inside is killing me. Unable to voice my feeling and living in this lies just eating me from  the inside out.

YouTube - Bruno Mars - Grenade [Official Music Video]

YouTube - Bruno Mars - Grenade [Official Music Video]

10 THINGS TO KEEP YOUR BOYFRIEND HAPPY :

I am the worst girlfriend in the world. 

I want to be understanding.

I want to beleive and trust him.

I want to be there for him.

I want to make thing easier for him.

I don't want to be a burden.

I want to make him happy.

10 THINGS TO KEEP HIM HAPPY :

1. I need to keep my emotion to myself.
2. Keep my mouth shut.
3. Try pretending that everything is fine when its not.
4. Really try to pretend everything is alright.
5. Do not question him too much.
6. Do not doubt him.
7. Trust him !
8. Smile always
9.Forget whatever problem or whatever that you don't like or unsatisfied about him
10. Just Forget about it. Okay.

Hole in my life

I miss my mom !

I miss my little brother Ibraheem.

I miss my dad.

They are all in India for ~ say an unfinished business. Who cares wat business that is, the point is they are away.

And i feel soooo freakin lonely and abandoned. Its the worst feeling ever. Like there is a unfulfilled need, that can never be satisfied. A humongous hole that can never be filled. 

Nothing in the world can fill that hole. Not even a 500 dollar SK II, or Mui Mui handbag, Designer shoes, or even Maybelline lipstick. What problem could it be that a lipstick cant make it go away ?!

Its the first time i went shopping, i felt happy and it only lasted for a second. I just couldn't be happy anymore. Its like a curse or something.

I want to be me again. I miss myself soo much. How i used to be. How i don't give a damn about a thing in the world. 

Gawd, i'd give anything to be that girl again.