I love you with all my heart. I want to be the best for you!

I L.O.V.E. HIM.

Turned out to be, I was actually wrong. I dont exactly have proof but i believe him. It could be his friends who sent that message(to a girl).

So instead of being mad at him, not trusting him, and wanting to break up , i chose to be something different, well something noble.

Why dont i just believe him? 

Why cant i let things just be what it is?

Why cant i live life as it comes !

So what if he might leave me in the future ( which he swore he wont, and i believe and i truly hope he would not do smt like that to me). So even if he did, He would actually be doing a huge favor to me. I mean he's not the only fish in the pond rite. Gawd, that is so lame. Anyways, i do alrite for myself. Its not soo hard to find someone else. But it definite will take a hell of a long, lengthy, extensive, and painfully enduring period of time to forget him in which might even consist of teary, sleepless nights, uneventfull Friday nights, boring weekends and worst of all the ever so dreaded lonely days. It might take years to forget him. Or forever. Or i might never forget him.

But, SO WHAT ? So What if all that nightmares happen ? 

I basically dont even wanna think about it. I wanna live life day by day. Tackle problem as it comes.

I mean why worry about tomorrow when you already have enough trouble today.

Plus, i want to live my life. Life itself is fudging short and i definitely wanna live it to fudging max. Haha

So therefore, coming to my point, i want to be...

WAIT !!

~~I FORGOT ~~

wtf, i tottaly forgot what i wanted to write...

well anyway i will continue when i remember.

Never Fall In LOVE

Its easy for him to have a fight and sleep like a baby. Leaving me like a stupid insomniac night owl who is left with a panda eye in the morning.

Im so pissed.

Its so ironic how he gets away with everything. How whatever he does he justifies it and blames it on his friend or families.

And how everything I do is soo wrong.

He made my parents hate me and not trust me. And when im here he makes my life a living hell.

I dont really think anything could hurt me more than this now. I regret the day I let him inside my heart. How foolish of me to think he was different and brainless i was to actually believe that he would not disappoint me. Because that is exactly what he did.

He might as well just leave me.

Maybe I could Find a new love or even better --- say plural...new loversssZZZ !! In that way maybe things could get better.

Even if this millions and millions pieces of broken heart is not healed at least it could get numb and the pain will eventually disappear and you may just fade away. Although you will always remain, the whole inside my heart can never be filled...